Monday, September 16, 2013

Struggle

It's interesting how we all have our own personal struggles and can feel so alone; however as I come back on to blogger and check out blogs I used to read consistently, I notice a pattern similar to my own.  I've been keeping away from my blog and blogger in general due to my own embarrassment at having gained my weight back and not running anymore.  How could I put this down on "paper"?  How could I face others?  Imagine my surprise when I come back to see several people I follow having the same problem.

Weight loss is easy. Maintenance is hard.  My last half marathon was scheduled for the end of 2011. I had to cancel due to work and was so bitter about it, I said "Screw Running!"  I was so mad about something I couldn't control that I allowed it to control what I could.  I stopped running.  I started going off my eating plan.  Then I was surprised when I woke up a year later and had gained every single pound back.  I'm mad at myself for allowing something else have such an effect on me.

But it's time to turn this around and stop letting that dictate how I act, feel, and do.  My work schedule is changing and will allow me to have a more easily kept to consistent workout schedule. I won't be working at a place where we serve delicious comfort (junk, crap) food to the youth living in our residential facility and I won't have constant access to the pantry filled with cookies, pastries, chips, etc.  I'll be working a regular 8 to 5, M-F job with less stress and an ability to bring in ONLY what I will eat that day. I won't have the option to say F' This! I'm going to eat what they're eating instead of the good-for-me food I brought.  I know this doesn't completely cut out any temptation and I know it will still take work from me, but I feel this is one check on the GO ME side of the column.

I'm excited. I'm ready.  Bring. It. On.